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21. Sep 2007 @ 16:41 oakarion
A son was born to a wealthy family. His mother and father had prayed to the Gods for a strong, healthy baby. These god-honoring parents were naturally shocked and upset when their son left his mother’s womb and arrived in this world with limbs twisted and gnarled. The parents’ dismay was very great, and the boy’s mother wept inconsolably. It was quickly decided that no one would know about the horribly deformed child.
He was quickly wrapped in fine, silken swaddling clothes and sent away in the arms of a faithful nurse. The parents spread word that the infant had been born without a breath of life in his tiny body, and their lives continued as before the ill-fated pregnancy. The boy was banished to a remote villa on the coast which, despite its seclusion, was luxurious and well-appointed. So the boy was raised by his household staff, which consisted of his nurse, a cook, and an elderly tutor.
As the boy, who was given the name Oakarion, grew, the natural curiosity of a child went unsatisfied. He craved adventure, but in his seclusion he could only live vicariously through his tutor, who often recounted the various trials and tribulations of many great heroes and kings. Oakarion was also fascinated by the sea. He often wondered what lived — or died — beneath the turbulent surface. As he grew, his walks on the beach became longer and longer as he combed the sand at low tide for treasures cast ashore for him by Poseidon. In spite of his twisted limbs, the boy grew strong, not bothered in the least by his deformity.
One day, Oakarion found a mighty blade cast upon the beach. He hefted it, wondering what great or horrible deeds had been performed with a weapon of such rare caliber. He knew little of swords and weapons, but something told him that this blade was extraordinary. Something about the metal burned powerfully in his palm as he gripped the hilt. The gem in the pommel glittered as if it contained a hundred stars, and the blade was straight and true. He picked up a bedraggle feather and rested it on the edge of the blade. The feather fell to the ground in two pieces before he even applied pressure.
Upon Mount Olympus, the sword’s owner knew the moment Poseidon released it from his hold. Hephaestus had been waiting for Poseidon to return the weapon for centuries; after all, he had only loaned it to the sea god, not given it to him to keep. Hephaestus came down from the mountaintop to stand before Oakarion on the lonely beach disguised as a mortal. “Oh thank you for finding my weapon!” he exclaimed in a weak, mortal voice, “I was afraid I would never see it again!”
“What?!” cried Oakarion, “You are the hero who wields this sword against demons and monsters?”
“I forged it,” Hephaestus explained. Oakarion’s face lit up light a lantern, so powerful was his excitement. A boyish flush colored his soft cheeks as he realized he had just found an adventure. Suddenly, the normally stalwart and loyal Hephaestus was filled with lust for this young man with whom he shared the burden of a deformity. At the same time, Oakarion’s young body, still unfamiliar with rushing passion, seemed to begin to float as admiration for this hero grew in his chest. It was easy for Hephaestus to seduce young Oakarion.
As soon as the deed was done, Hephaestus was wracked with guilt. Had he not humiliated his wife Aphrodite for committing this same folly? The lame god hustled poor, bewildered Oakarion off the exposed beach and under the cover of a forest canopy in an attempt to conceal his deed. However, it was too late. Aphrodite had seen it all from her vantage point on Mount Olympus. She raced down to the forest where Oakarion now cowered among the trees. The goddess flew into a passionate rage. The very air seemed to darken, and poor Oakarion struggled to breathe. Hephaestus could do nothing to combat Aphrodite’s rage because he knew in his heart that her passion was quite justified. Therefore, he could do nothing but watch in horror and shame as Aphrodite turned her fury upon the boy.
Oakarion’s legs grew long and sank deep into the ground, his hard, muscled body surged upward, and his gnarled arms reached out over the ground in a plea for help to Hephaestus. However, it was too late for poor Oakarion, for if one grows hard for a married man, then it is just punishment that he be forced to remain hard for all eternity. So Oakarion was trapped in an iron-like, wooden prison, gnarled arms outstretched in fear for all eternity as an Oak tree mighty as the sword that had caused all this folly.
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moi
6. Mär 2007 @ 18:01 new favorite movie ever!
Current Location: home
Aktuelle Stimmung: curious
Aktuelle Musik: low rider by war
okay, i just had a mid-afternoon viewing of the Illusionist and it was AMAZING!! o. my. gawd! it's about this guy who is like a magician and he loves this chick and she loves him back and they decide to run away together only she is a dutchess and she's supposed to marry the emperor's heir and take over hungary (ungarn for we german speakers) but she runs away anyway cuz she loves this guy and then the guy from sideways is the inspector and he likes the magician but he's obligated to work for the bad heir and then it gets very complicated and the magician has an oddly wrinkly forehead and you won't believe the ending!!!!!!! aack!

I think the illusionist's magic is REAL cuz that would just make things great. maybe he sold his soul or something. i wish he'd tell me cuz i wish i could disappear like that! there's no other explanation for a thing he does toward the end. there's just no mechanical way it's possible! however, the orange tree at the end does cause one to think...

i shall spoil no more. go hence, nonexistent reader, and rent the Illusionist.
About this Entry
moi
5. Jan 2007 @ 17:15 WoOt!
Your results:
You are Superman
Superman
65%
Wonder Woman
56%
Iron Man
55%
Green Lantern
55%
Spider-Man
50%
Supergirl
46%
Hulk
40%
Robin
35%
Catwoman
35%
The Flash
20%
Batman
15%
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.


Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

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moi
23. Dez 2006 @ 13:43 once again i succumb
Current Location: home
Aktuelle Musik: cake
My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Excellency Erika the Essential of Barton in the Beans
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title
About this Entry
moi
2. Dez 2006 @ 22:16 bi-annual quiz time
Global Personality Test Results
Stability (76%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..
Orderliness (56%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.
Extraversion (60%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com


i took this last in march '06 score 76%, 63%, and 43% and before that in december '05, scored 80%, 53%, and 63%. funny how things change.
About this Entry
moi
2. Dez 2006 @ 21:49 weakness for quizzes
Current Location: home, chair
Aktuelle Stimmung: calm
Aktuelle Musik: none-everyone's asleep!
here's the link to a lame-ass personality test. lammmmmmmme.

http://www.bored.com/drawthings/save.php?id=24846
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moi
20. Nov 2006 @ 22:18 grr
i hate my family. they all suck a lot. especially my mom and sister. grr. how many days 'till i can leave?
About this Entry
moi
16. Nov 2006 @ 17:03 SHE LIVES!
Current Location: dorm
Aktuelle Stimmung: cheerful
Aktuelle Musik: Cake
i'd love to hear back from anyone who has the time to fill out a dumb questionnaire.

1. Your Middle Name:

2. Age:

3. Single or Taken:

4. Favorite CURRENT movie/TV show:

5. Favorite CURRENT Song:

6. Favorite Bands/Artists:

7. Dirty or Clean:

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?

10. Whats your philosophy on life?

11. Would you have my back in a fight?

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?

13. What is your favorite memory of us?

14. Would you give me a kidney?

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:

16. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

17. Can we get together and make a cake?

18. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?

19. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?

20. Do you think I'm a good person?

21. Would you drive across country with me?

22. Do you think I'm attractive?

23. If you could change anything about me, would you?

24. What do you wear to sleep?

25. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

26. Would you go on a date with me if I asked you?

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?

28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
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moi
5. Nov 2006 @ 00:21 i caved
Aktuelle Stimmung: numb
i gave in to the pressure.

Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

i'm not proud of this.
About this Entry
moi
2. Okt 2006 @ 17:37 SHE LIVESSSSSSS
Current Location: home
Aktuelle Stimmung: content
Aktuelle Musik: do your ears hang low?
Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth.
While you may not be a total hippie...
You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around.

You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.
However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.
Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!


Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth.
While you may not be a total hippie...
You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around.

You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.
However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.
Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!
About this Entry
moi
28. Aug 2006 @ 20:50 speed
why do i always get sucked into watching them dumb tv award shows? i hardly even watch tv except for lost and gray's anatomy, and i don't get cable, so why did i care enough to spend hours upon hours watching the emmys? the dresses weren't even that pretty.
About this Entry
moi
23. Aug 2006 @ 22:48 so wrong...
Current Location: home
Aktuelle Stimmung: enthralled
Aktuelle Musik: end credits of annapolis
whose sick idea was this? and why am i actually laughing.

behold: the cat on the wheel!

About this Entry
moi
6. Aug 2006 @ 20:58 Work
Aktuelle Stimmung: giggly
Aktuelle Musik: Spice Girls "Wannabe"
Jobs are great. You sit around for a few hours, and money shoots like a laserbeam (though sometimes a rather dinky laserbeam) into your bank account. Why is it, then, that no one likes his or her job? If you hate it so much, then quit! What's that? You need your job so you can buy stuff? Well then, why does it suck so much? It allows you to get important things like pants and organic bananas. Quit whining already.
About this Entry
moi
22. Jun 2006 @ 18:57 more quizzes!
You scored as Neo, the "One". Neo is the computer hacker-turned-Messiah of the Matrix. He leads a small group of human rebels against the technology that controls them. Neo doubts his ability to lead but doesn't want to disappoint his friends. His goal is for a world where all men know the Truth and are free from the bonds of the Matrix.

</td>

Captain Jack Sparrow

71%

The Terminator

71%

Neo, the "One"

71%

Indiana Jones

58%

James Bond, Agent 007

54%

El Zorro

46%

Maximus

46%

The Amazing Spider-Man

38%

William Wallace

38%

Batman, the Dark Knight

33%

Lara Croft

17%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
About this Entry
moi
13. Jun 2006 @ 17:33 Music Meme
Open iTunes and put it on shuffle. What are the first five songs that come on? Here's a list (no exclusions, no matter how embarassing!!)

1. Steep by Phish off their album Billy Breathes. Enormous Phishhead here.
2. No One's Gonna Love You Like Me off the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack. Sweet and twangy. I know all the words and can actually sing them in tune on a good day.
3. This I Promise You by N'Sync off their album No Strings attached. *hangs head* I have no excuse.
4. Bold As Love by Hendrix off of a Best of album. Grooooo-vay.
5. A Bit of Earth by Charlotte Church off her album Enchantment. She's got such a good voice...it makes me teary eyed...sometimes...
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moi
7. Mai 2006 @ 21:17 countdown
Current Location: home
Aktuelle Stimmung: chipper
Aktuelle Musik: Gray's Anatomy
Countdown to my departure for Germany!!
About this Entry
moi
28. Apr 2006 @ 16:57 me photomanip
Current Location: mein stuhl
Aktuelle Stimmung: cold
Aktuelle Musik: kein
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
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moi
22. Apr 2006 @ 22:46 SNL
Current Location: Eden Prairie, MN
Aktuelle Stimmung: bouncy
Aktuelle Musik: nada
OMIGAWD! I just saw an SNL skit that was actually funny! Not since the days of "Pat and Patty's Backpack Shak" and "HOT PLATE!" have I seen such quality tv! Plus, Natalie Portman's hosting and I totally love her. HI! WELCOME TO JAMBA JUICE!
About this Entry
moi
31. Mär 2006 @ 23:02 Swimmers
Current Location: still chair
Aktuelle Stimmung: cold
Aktuelle Musik: Georgia On My Mind---Ray Charles
So I was thinking. Shocker right there. I was thinking about my job. See, I'm a lifeguard, and at work, I watch a lot of people swim. There's four types of swimmer:
1. Euphoric Toddler: Just what the name implies, a widdle baybee wif a ke-u-wit widdle swimsuit who is just psyched to be in the pool. Usually includes lots of giggles, smiles, and peeing in the pool. As an aside, you can totally tell when a kid is peeing in the pool. They get this look on their face like they're concentrating real hard and stop moving/swimming/whatever. Sometimes you can actually see the pee, but usually they just move away real quick and start kicking a lot. Probably trying to avoid coming to terms with the fact that they're sitting in a puddle of urine.
2. the Unhappy Camper: DOES NOT WANT TO BE AT THE GODDAMN POOL! COLD! CRABBY! WET. WHY DON'T YOU CRY ABOUT IT?? ok, they do. Pretty much for the entire time. Yet, for some reason, the parent (usually Chinese or Indian (don't ask me why--there are no white kids at this pool!)) insists that the kid stay in the pool and play with his too-big goggles. So take that ya whiny little brat.
3. the...dare I say it? Twelve Year Old. Have you ever met a twelve year old? If you answered no to that question, I envy you. Twelve year olds seem to have this MEMEMEMEMEMEME!!! complex. They run. You yell at them. They dive in the shallow end. You really yell at them. They light a fire in one of the urinals. You hit 'em with your lifeguard floatie and hope you don't get fired. Then they laugh at you cuz they got you fired. Then they run over and go down the slide with their goggles on. Grr.
4. The Real People Swimmer: a lapswimmer. These are a dying breed. Apparantly the chlorine affects their ability to procreate, or so I've heard. They swim. They wear them little Speedos, usually in either beige, black, or vivid, lurid green. It's always a laugh when they dodge Twelve Year Olds and smile at Euphoric Toddlers. Lucky for them, they usually don't have to put up with Unahppy Campers, since those Campers tend to stay in the small pool, while Real People Swimmers are in the big pool.

Tonight there was an unusually high density of Twelve Year Olds. They all spin around when they go down the slide and can never believe that, yes, I can in fact see that they're doing that, and yes, I will yell at them. Again...and again...and again...then hit them with my floatie... Ha! I think I'm the meanest lifeguard on staff, which is weird because I'm actually a very nice person with a passion for green bananas and fanfiction. Why don't'cha hate me, eh?
About this Entry
moi
31. Mär 2006 @ 23:02 brr
Current Location: still chair
Aktuelle Stimmung: cold
Aktuelle Musik: bwah
Sooooo....cold.................
About this Entry
moi